At long length, I finished my thesis, but not without the support of my loving bride. As a matter of fact, Delores did the most supportive thing she could do while I was racing frantically to complete it: she left me. Just for a week, mind you. That week made all the difference in the world.
One morning, I wake at the crack of dawn and, as all student bachelors do, get to work without dressing. Strangely, when I am alone I close all the doors behind me, as though there exist unseen eyes lurking around the corner.
I think to myself, as I close the basement door behind me, "Self? Doesn't the doorknob feel funny?" Click!
Yup. Locked in the basement.
Upstairs, far out of reach, are yesterday's trousers with my keys. The phone in the kitchen could have been a thousand miles away for all the help it was to me trapped below. All the external doors to my house are locked. There I stand, barely wearing a thing, wondering how I am going to get help.
I notice the door hinges are on my side of the door, so I slip into the garage to get tools to remove the hinge pins and open the door backwards. No dice. The door fits too snugly to squeeze over the bulges in the hinges without doing damage to the door.
Then I remember that this door has a ventilation grate. Off to the garage for a screwdriver, and a few moments removing the grate, and... there was another grate on the other side of the door.
Next up, I try wires and screwdrivers to walk the latch back into the door. The door clicked again as the extra pin latched. I was then twice as locked in my basement as I was a moment before!
You might ask, "So, how did you get out?"
Truth is, I'm not all that sure myself.
