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Why my DVD Player was Broken

My computer desktop has been an absolute mess. Some software required for one of my graduate classes was incompatible with my PC, and my laptop monitor was broken. I rearranged my computer so I could get at the back easily to move my monitor back and forth from the PC to the laptop. This made getting at the front of my PC a touch difficult, but it did the job.

So, now that school's over, I wanted to relax by dropping a DVD into the computer. It wouldn't work. The computer just said "Please insert disc."

Sigh

I tried several discs, did some research online, re-flashed the firmware on my DVD player, and finally gave up. My drive was broken.

So it was that we purchased a new DVD drive, which I subsequently plugged in to my PC and...

I noticed that the other drive was also a DVD drive.

As it turned out, my DVD drive wasn't working because it was my CD drive!

Ha ha. What a joke on myself.

Abidaddy

A long time ago I realized I would never again be known as "Keith" except to a select few. For example, when I married Delores, we moved in to a new neighborhood near the university and started an exciting life together. Attending church with a charismatic, lovely red-head got me a lot of attention. "Look, there's Delores' husband!" Only the bishop and a few friends new Delores' husband's name.

Then I became a daddy, and we moved again. Now I attend church with the same wonderful red-head, and a darling, precocious toddler. Everyone knows Abigail, so the nondescript tall brunette dude walking alongside Abigail must be "Abigail's dad". No "Keith" there.

One of Abigail's best friends comes to visit from time to time. One day, his mom asks him: "Would you like to go see Abigail?"

"No," was the reply. Not today I suppose.

However, his mother continued, "Abigail is going to see her dad. Do you want to see Abigail's daddy?"

"Yeah!"

And so it was that they walked in to our driveway with a little toddler boy chanting "Abidaddy, Abidaddy."

There's an old saying that goes: Fathers are those people who keep pictures where their money used to be. I suppose we lose our name with our money, but I don't mind so much. For a few minutes, Abidaddy was a cooler fella than Keith ever could have been.

 

From Michael: Oh, the joys of parenthood. I'm sure you've noticed the same thing when you walk through Mom's door. "Oh, Abigail's here!" Not Keith. Not Delores. Just Abigail.

Dirty Raisins

We gave Abigail a small bowl of dry Raisin Bran to munch on this evening. In a grand moment of irony and profundity, Abigail picks out all the sugar-coated raisins and gives them to mom, explaining that they were "dirty". Delores didn't argue.

Handsome Cousins

I was visiting my parents' house last week. Abigail's cousin Isaac (2) was visiting Grandma's house while we were there.

Grandma: Isaac, how come are you so cute?

Isaac: I'm just handsome

Grandma: oh

Isaac: I'm a big boy

I'm glad he knows these very important things

Opening My Baby Blues

The closer I get to completing my Master's degree, the less impressed I am with Master's degrees, because I am not very impressed with myself.

Case in point: when I was young, mom would send me to the basement to retrieve a can of soup. From time to time, I would trot down the stairs, and by the time my right foot touched the basement floor, my purpose in going downstairs was blissfully forgotten.

That is until I heard my name shouted full-force ten minutes later.

"What is that?" I ask, having raced halfway up the stairs.

"Where is the soup?"

Oh yeah!

It even happened, a few times, that after this dialogue, I again forgot my purpose the moment my feet touched the basement floor.

So, flashback to the present, I give up looking for a lost textbook after my fifth day of searching. Not even the absurd cost of textbooks can thwart my blindness. Is this the kind of absent-mindedness to be expected from one who is less than a year from the fantastic title, "Master Keith?"

 

From M. Nelson: Don't worry nobody with be calling you, "Master Keith," that's a right only reserved for karate instructors.

Good luck finding your book.

From Keith: I once said to a fellow at work: "Those who fear me call me 'Wild Side'"

Then he said: "I've never heard anyone call you 'Wild Side'."

"Yeah," I said, "No one fears me yet."

Special Diapers

Abigail was playing under the bathroom sink while I was doing my hair. She pulled out Q-tips and maxie pads. She opened one rather large maxie pad, took it out of its wrapper and laid it out on the floor. She then lay down next to it and pointed to her diaper indicating that she wanted it changed and replaced with the "diaper" at her side.

I did change her diaper, and one day she'll even get to use special diapers like the one she opened.

 

From Wendy: Darling!! Just don't ever tell her they're special "napkins" or they might show up at the table for company!

From M. Nelson: Don't call them "bandaids" either. Next thing you know, they'll be stuck to her shin.